Priest said “Now leave this Dia Dona (Bowl round shaped made of dried leaves containing little oil lamp n flowers n offerings to the God as per Hindu rituals) in the Ganga river, n I kept the dia dona on the chilled water waves flowing fast towards the north east direction….. the dia dona stopped in between n all of sudden I felt if my dead husband is looking at me with crying eyes…. it was last ritual of his death that as a young widow of a young Hindu man I needed to take holy dip in Ganges to seek forgiveness of all Gods n Godesses that because of my bad faith he died so young. The little lamp looked at me it seems… like my husband was looking at me when he was lying on ventilator in ICU… Go n keep going… I murmered…. ” You take 21 dips now, why r u standing n wasting my time?” The fat n tall old priest wrapping his shawl more tightly around his neck yelled at me! He was standing on the ghat corner. My both kids were born caesarean n I was mother of two years only daughter but as a culprit I was standing in upto waist chilled frozen water of Ganges on the banks of GarhMukteshwar(a religious place in UP, India) to take dips to complete the process of being widiw. 11 Dips more as I took 21 dips already few moments back… I saw helplessly around n a boatman, young 20-21 years old boy sitting in a thin old wooden boat again looked at me “Idiot is compelling u uselessly to take more dips to keep u more time in water I think” he whisoered to me from few feets aside n handed me a fragile some broken plastic container, I took the container n started pouring water on me n crying too… it was not my fault that my husband died of swine flu at 39 years… but that very moment some bengali ladies started pouring red sindoor in river n the water coming towards me became purplish… I saw I was taking dip in n pouring purple water on me …. it was my all
time favorite color n this very moment I was just surprised to see the purple colored water of Ganga around me… I looked behind n saw my brother in law standing n holding my kids hand n his wife sitting n shivering n ribbing her hands… I realized that I need to complete the rituals fast as it is getting dark fast n it is early December time very windy m chilled too!